Chapter 43
SOFIA
I wasn’t a highly emotional person. Life never let me be. There are only so many tears left in a person after they go through the kind of things I have.
If I’m being honest, I didn’t like being emotional either. I like being in control. I like fighting back. I don’t cry a lot. I plan my way out of my troubles.
Falling for Gabriel was not a part of any plan. And yet, it happened like it was inevitable. The worst part being, I hadn’t even realised how hard I had fallen till I watched him tell me about Lily, and the promises he made to her.
Sleep never came that night. I tossed and turned, tossed and turned. Thoughts occupied my head all night, memories flooded. Around 3 in the morning, I sat in front of a blank canvas. I wasn’t a free style painter, but I wanted to paint out my thoughts. I wanted to represent them to the best of my ability, a furious red for my feelings, a black for the betrayal I was feeling, a blue for the hollowness, orange for the pain and white for the memories.
I wanted to, but I couldn’t. Not a single stroke.
At 7, I showered and left the house. I asked the driver to drive me to the only place I knew, my grandfather’s house.
I wasn’t trying to run away from Gabriel, because if I was, I wouldn’t have chosen the most obvious place he could find me at. If he bothers to find me. I just wanted an escape. A place where everything would feel fine.
The ring I had left behind felt evidently absent because of the tan line.
It wasn’t even noon when I was in my hometown, pulling a grin on my lips to convince my grandfather I was here to surprise him. The smile never reached my eyes. He knew it. I knew it. Neither of us talked about it.
He let me be. He let me keep my head on his lap while he stroke my hair, telling me stories about my parents like he often did when I was a child.
He talked about their story, and how it was one for the books..
He talked about their lessons, and dreams they had about me.
He talked about them and let me fall asleep in his lap, forgetting for a little time about my barren phone that remained in my pocket, devoid of any notifications or calls from the man I had come here to forget about.
I was preparing dinner to take my mind off things. I wasn’t a stellar cook, I only knew the basics, but I loved to bake. So I
going
to make a lasagna dish, one that I had practiced to perfection in my late teen years.
was
In the evening, I went to buy groceries with Alice.
“Can you believe he cheated on me? That f**king asshole!” Alice stomped her feet, and the cashier raised an eyebrow. I gave the boy a little apologetic smile before handing him my card, ignoring Gabriel’s Amex shining in my wallet, and then
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turned to my best friend.
*
“Alice, keep your voice down. People are staring. I try to hush her. “And he’s such a dick for doing that.”
“I know, right?” She pouted. “I really wanted him to be the one.”
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“Oh, I’m sorry, babe.” I interlink my hands with hers while taking back my card from the boy, dumping it in my bag and then taking the bag of groceries. “Do you want to sleep at my place tonight? We can eat ice cream and watch a nice rom–com?”
“That would be so nice,” She sighs when we exit the grocery store, cold wind hitting us. I shiver. “But I can’t, I’ve got to go to
work tomorrow.”
“You can leave for work from mine?” I offer.
She eyes me reluctantly. “Is your husband going to be okay with that? The last time I was here, he seemed like he would dagger me for taking your precious time.”
“Absolutely not! In fact, Gabriel liked you. And he does not like people. At all.” A smile spreads on my lips before I can stop it. “Besides, he isn’t here. It’s just me.”
“Prince Charming let you come here alone?”
I frown. “Don’t call him that.”
“Do I sense jealousy?” Her eyes twinkled with unmatched amusement. “What happened to the girl that said ‘we don’t care about each other‘?” She repeated what I had said in a high pitched tone, making me hit her arm playfully.
“I do not speak that way!”
“You do!” She laughed, and then put her hand around my shoulder. “Oh Sof, why didn’t you come earlier? This wa needed to get over that dick. I miss you so much when you’re not here.”
all i
“So do I.” I sigh, leaning into her. We walk like little girls do, not minding it even a bit. “I made a new friend, you know? Her name’s Anna.” And then, I proceed to tell her about our drinking chronicles, and how the two of them absolutely have to
meet.
She pretended to be wounded about me making new friends for a bit, but thinks Anna sounds like an amazing girl overall when I tell her how lonely it gets there sometimes since I don’t know anyone except my husband and his family.
We were barely two streets away from my grandfather’s home when Alice nudges me. “Sof? Isn’t that Sam?“.
My eyes snap to where she points and sure enough, my estranged friend stands not too far ahead, typing something on his phone, and as if sensing both our eyes on him, looks up and then at us.
“Shit! I didn’t even tell him you’re here this time, I swear,” Alice quickly mumbles. “Do you want to pretend we didn’t see him and take a turn?”
“No.” My
My eyebrows knit, and I give her a weird look. “Besides Sam is… our friend.”
No, he isn’t, a part of me corrected, but I ignored it.
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Sam waves at us, and before Alice has a chance to reply to me, he’s jogging towards us.
“Hey!” He pants on reaching us. “Alice… it’s been so long.”
“Yeah, I know.” She pouts. “You were going through one of your busyb*dy phases and usually I keep calling you but then! got busy too so I figured you’d call me when you miss me.”
“Yeah, sorry. I got caught up with work.” He smiles at her, and then turns to me. “Sof.. I didn’t know you were here.”
“Just came today,” I reply, reluctant. He seemed better today than he did when I’d run into him and his mom a few weeks ago with Gabriel, but I was still hesitant, walking on egg shells.
The last time I saw him, I felt hurt looking at him. A friendship I always cherished, I had ruined. This time, there was indifference towards the person I had lost, because I was mourning someone I felt much, much more deeply for in just two months than I did for Sam in years.
“It’s nice to see you.” He smiled at me just the same, something that was visibly absent the last time. “And I.. I’m really sorry I didn’t call and congratulate you on your wedding.”
“That’s–That’s okay.” My lips part, surprise lacing my voice.
“I haven’t been very myself lately.” He adds, “But I think I’m good to know.”
Which probably means, I think I’m over you now.
I smile at him. “That’s good, Sam. You look good too, right, Al?”
“No, I’m not a fan of what you’re doing with your hair. Chop them off, please. They’re a mess.”
I glared at Alice, and Sam laughed. “Yes ma’am, I’ll visit the salon tomorrow.” He paused, his eyes flickering to the bag of groceries in my hand. “What are you girls up to?”
“Just buying groceries.” Alice replied, almost careful, eyes flickering to me as if to say, I won’t invite him if you don’t want to.
“I’m making lasagna,” I tell him. If he can move on, then who was I to hold onto old things? “Do you and Mrs. Riley want to join?”
Alice’s eyes widen in excitement, a grin spreading on her lips. “Please say yes! It’ll be like old times.”
Sam, however, looks at me. I recognise the look on his face, hesitance. “Is your husband going to be okay with it? He didn’t seem very happy about meeting me last time.”
“Gabriel’s not here.” I almost pick my hand to touch his shoulder over his coat briefly, but I don’t. “Please, come.”
“Okay.” A smile spreads on his lips, and Alice almost claps while jumping in excitement. Almost. “I’m going to go home and freshen up and get mom and join you in a bit, yeah?”
I nod, and before I could say bye to him, I could feel goosebumps spread all over my skin. The little hair at the back of my neck stand, and I highly doubt it was because of the cold wind.
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Chapter 43
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I felt watched.
I felt a gaze on me. I knew it was from across the road.
From the corner of my eyes, I could make out something… someone, a tall figure, looking here. Gabriel?
My eyes snapped to that side.
A bus blocked my vision, and when it was gone, there was no one.
